‘Twas the Night Before Catmas…
By Nikita, with apologies to Clement C. Moore
‘Twas the night before Catmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for the mouse;
The stockings it knocked from their perch and tossed everywhere,
That the cats might catch him he didn't give a care;
Elvira was nestled all comfy in the tower,
While visions of feather toys danced in her head 10 times an hour.
And Daddy Kiril had just settled down for a nice long nap,
While I was busy in the litter box taking a crap,
When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the loo to see what was the matter.
Like any curious cat I ran to the window in a mad dash;
Completely ignoring the mouse carrying pilfered canned hash.
What to my wondering eyes should I see out there?
But a tiny sleigh and 8 tiny cats, no lie, I swear!
The little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it had to be St. Nick.
Quick on their paws, tails in the air, those felines came,
And he whistled, and shouted and called them by name;
Now Meowza, Now Sweet Praline! Now Fat Eric! and Whicky Wuudler!
On Hakuna! On Napoleon! On Tom, you old man, and Maximus, too!
To the front of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now move your tails! Move your tails! Move your tails, all!
As dry catnip that before the blowing of a fan goes floof,
When they meet with an obstacle mount to living room roof;
So up to the housetop the pussycats pitty pattered,
With the sleigh full of toys and treats,
And something for Daddy to show that he mattered.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof a noise,
Meowing and purring, as they safely landed with poise.
As I turned my head, listening to this sound,
Down the chimney, St. Nicholas came with a bound!
He was dressed for success from his head to his foot,
His clothes unsullied by the ashes and soot;
A bundle of stuff he had in a pack,
And he smiled at me, leaned over and scratched my back.
His eyes, my how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His mouth opened so wide,
The beard on his chin, his mirth it couldn't hide;
Unlike some humans his scent wasn't unpleasant, and smelly,
And as I rolled on my back he rubbed my belly!
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I purred, and purred, in spite of myself;
A hearty chin scritch, and a wink of an eye,
Gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He reached for his sack, and got straight to his work,
Setting gifts under the tree; then turned with a jerk,
And waving his hand, then straightening his clothes,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He leaped onto his sleigh, to his team gave a yell,
And away they all flew like a bat out of hell!
But I heard him speak, in felinese, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Catmas to all, and to all a good night!"
We love our Daddy Kiril, that we do! - Nikita and Elvira