Good morning, Felinity Assembled!
Elvira Mistress of Felinity, here!
Dr. Seuss is one-hundred and eight and Daddy Kiril said, "Come on Elvira, you can do it, it's not too late!" and Nikita replied, "if truth be told, I purrsonally think that you are more than up to a challenge so bold!!"
Zoolatry, & and Da Weenies of Florida, issued a Challenge to Critterdom Assembled to creatively celebrate the birthday of the great, poet, rhymer, and storyteller. :-D A long time ago, in a year, far away, Daddy Kiril had once written a Dr. Seuss Poem based on Green Eggs and Ham. He was mad at Dan Rather for some reason. :-D So, I slept on it, last night, laying next to Daddy on the bed and, after breakfast this morning, I wrote my longest, most complex, poem, to date, and showed it to Daddy, and Nikita. Sort of an early Birthday present to the guys, who will have birthdays of their own on Monday, March 5th (Nikita turns 14, Daddy 52, & you are all invited to stop by! Also I host Carnival of the Cats on Sunday, so send submissions to the e-mail in the sidebar!) They are very proud of my effort, and I hope you will enjoy it, as well. :-D I was inspired by Nikita, my mentor, who took on PETA, in 2010, and won, as their reply to something he wrote made them look very foolish, and defensive. :-D So, without further ado, let my poem serve as fair warning to PETA, and others who purport to be friends to Felinity Assembled, that I, Elvira Mistress of Felinity, am ready, and willing, to join Nikita, in exposing your troubling sides to the world!Today is the Birthday of Dr. Seuss!
About PETA I Don't Give a Damn!
By Elvira Mistress of Felinity...With humble apologies to Dr. Seuss!
I am Elvira Mistress of Felinity
I am Elvira.
I am Sassy Mistress of Felinity Cat-I-am!
A very Sassy Cat-I-am!
I do not like
PETA, says this adorable Cat-I-am!
About them
I don't give a damn! I do not like them,
Says this Mistress of Felinity Cat-I-am.
About PETA
I don't give a damn.
I don't like them
here or there!
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
About them
I really don't give a damn.
I do not like them,
Says this Lady Cat-I-am.
Would you like them
in your house?
Would you like them
asking about your mouse?
I do not like them
in my house.
I do not think
they should ask me about my mouse! (Or Vole, for that matter!)
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like PETA, says this cute Cat-I-am.
about them I don't give a damn.
Would you like them
in your box?
Would you let them play
With your socks?
Not in MY box.
Not with MY socks.
Not in MY house.
No asking about MY mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I would not welcome PETA.
I do not like them, says this Tortie Cat-I-am.
Would you? Could you?
Allow PETA in your carrier?
Stop them! Stop them!
Put up a barrier!
I would not,
could not,
in my carrrier.
You won't like them.
You will see.
You won't like them
in a tree!
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in my carrier! You let me be!
I do not like them in my box.
I do not like them playing with my socks.
I do not like them in my house.
I do not like them asking about my mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like PETA.
I do not like them, says this Feline News Network Cat-I-am.
A pain! A pain!
A pain! A pain!
They are, to me, and you,
a major pain!
They are a pain! Can't you see?
Hell fire! Scram! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in my box.
I could not, would not, let them play with my socks.
I do not want them in my house.
I do not want them snooping around my mouse.
I do not want them here or there.
I do not want them anywhere.
About PETA I don't give a damn!
I do not like them, so proclaims this Opinionated Cat-I-am.
See!
In the dark?
There in the dark!
Do you, can you, see them lurking in the dark?
I would not, do not,
like them lurking in the dark.
Can you, do you, see they are a pain? I can, I do,
see them as a pain.
See in the dark? They are a pain.
Not in my carrier. Not in a tree.
I do not like them, I hope you see.
Not in my house. Not playing with my socks.
Not asking about my mouse. Not in my box.
I will not support them over there.
I would not support them anywhere!
About PETA
does anyone give a damn? I do not
like them, says this
Most Delightful female Cat-I-am.
Could you, would you,
bear to hear them emote?
I would not, could not,
bear to hear them emote!
Would you, could you,
agree with what they have wrote?
I could not, would not, agree with what they have wrote.
I cannot not, will not, sit, and listen to them emote.
I really think they are a pain.
Sometimes they really act insane.
No brain cells with a spark!
They are extreme I hope you will agree!
Not in my carrrer!
You let me be!
I do not like them in my box.
I do not like them playing with my socks.
I will not allow them in my house.
I do not like them asking about my mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
About PETA
I don't Give a damn!
I do not like them,
Says this proud Cat-I-am.
You do not like them, either,
So you say.
Expose them! Expose them!
Every day.
Expose them, every day, I say. Hot damn!
There are many
who work to expose them.
Many, Many, Many.
About exposing PETA, I give a damn!
I do! I give a damn, says this lovely, great looking Cat-I-am!
And I would help expose what they wrote.
And I would help expose them when they emote…
And I will expose how they are a pain.
Not a spark. They are insane.
In a carrier. And in a tree.
They are so extreme, so crazy, you see!
So I will defeat them while playing with my socks.
And I will defeat them from inside my box.
And I will defeat them from in my house.
And I will defeat them alongside my mouse (Actually they are Voles! Husband and Wife!).
And I will defeat them here and there.
I will defeat them ANYWHERE!
About PETA
I so don't give a damn!
Thank you!
Thank you,
So says Elvira Mistress of Felinity,
Most Delightful Sassy Cat-I-am!
Nikita reports that...
The Celebration is now in full swing over at Zoolatry, and Da Weenies, with images, and links, to other Critters all across the Critterverse, so um, scramble on over for a look! :-D
DAMN, Elvira, you're good!! :-D
Posted by: Zoolatry | March 02, 2012 at 02:39 PM
Great poem!
Troubling links about PETA, and Humane Society...
I wonder how many other people, besides me, never heard of any of that..
Posted by: Andrea and the Celestial Kitties | March 02, 2012 at 03:35 PM
Very Very Good!
Thank you fur joining us today!
Super Dooper Poem you have there!
:o)
Posted by: Amber DaWeenie | March 02, 2012 at 04:15 PM
Very good, Elvira! Way to show 'em who's boss! :)
Happy Dr. Seuss Day to you, Nikita and Daddy Kiril. :)
Posted by: meowmeowmans | March 02, 2012 at 07:46 PM