and making Female Doctors assistants, and Mormons, embarrassed.
That's my Daddy!!! Yessirree, Bob!
Painfully hobbling halfway across Central Orange County, by taxi, bus, and foot, to get complete Bloodwork, & an EKG before his surgery...Daddy Kiril kept his famous Peculiar Sense of Humor intact!
I, and Nikita, are just soooo proud of him! ;-D
Well, actually, considering it took him untill WEDNESDAY to put 2 & 2 together, we figure it must be the painkillers that slowed down his usually very quick wit. ;-D
Let me begin at the beginning....
Daddy had to plan out a bus schedule that would allow him to go to his personal doctor, and back with the minimal amount of time on his crutches.
This involved, reluctantly, using a Taxi to get to his first bus, so he took the opportunity to make a delayed mailing of a birthday package we had planned to send KC & ML (It's OK, it's not a secret, they know we had planned it to be, but, Daddy went, & had his Owie, and we weren't sure when we'd get it out.) along the way.
His friend at the UPS, upon seeing Daddy walk in, said "Well, I guess this means you won't be bike riding, huh?"
Daddy laughed, and replied, with an exagerated sigh..."Nooo, SHIT, Sherlock!" ;-D
His taxi ride cost $21 to go about 3 1/2 miles.
At the bus stop he had to share the bench with an ancient Asian man, with a cane, who turned out not to understand English....and a slightly less ancient, but toothless, Hispanic man, who looked like he needd not just a cane, but a walker, who did understand English, and had a sense of humor. ;-D
Tired from taking seemingly forever to cross the street to get to the bus stop, not the leaast embarrased for holding up traffic, like, FOREVER, ya know, hee, hee...Daddy still had to laugh at the image they would present when the bus showed up.
I mean, it was an open question as to who was closer to Death's Door, hee, hee! ;-D
A part of the splint wrap had come loose and dragged on the ground, but the Hispanic guy helped Daddy make things right, and asked him what happened.
So what does Daddy say?
With a grin wider than that of the Cheshire Cat, of literary legend, he replies...
"I broke my ankle chasing Pussy... "
The old man busted out laughing, then laughed even more when Daddy told him it was "A True Story!", and explained. ;-D
As regular readers know Nikita has a history of defending that word from vulgarians, and honoring its ancient, and venerable history, as a word pertaining to Cats.
Like most Humans of a certain age this man could remember when one could use that word, in public, without fear of offense because the context was clear.
When the bus arrived the driver was a nice, heavy set black lady, who smiled at her motley looking pick-up. ;-D
Last to get on, Daddy was asked, by the lady, sympathy in her question, what happened.
When Daddy used his one line explanation again her eye's got big, and she laughed so hard he was afraid she'd lose her grip on the direction of the bus!
Like the old man she understood when he explained and, laghing even more she said this made her day, and was gonna be her contribution to the after work break-room discussion. ;-D
When Daddy got to his next stop he had to cross another crosswalk, then take 30 minutes to walk a half block to his appointment, arriving with 3 minutes to spare.
When he reached the office he had to rest a bit before they took his EKG, and so chatted with the Docwho shook her head when told how he broke his ankle, and then took him to task for not doing as much as he maybe should be doing to lower his cholesterol, and weight.
She gave him a sample pack, good for 3 months, of Crestor, to help reduce his Bad Cholesterol level.
The assistant who gave him the EKG, the took his blood, was a Hispanic gal younger than him, who asked him what happened.
When used his one-liner again, even though he said it meant cats, she smiled, and said "but that's vul;gar!"
As she took his EKG they talked about it, and she slowly came around, but...
She's been doing this blood taking thing for years, right?
Then how come it took her 4 attempts to... find... a...vein...that...could...produce? ;-D
The poor gal was obviously puzzled, and concerned, that she couldn't draw blood, and Daddy, telling her, in his best "Bela Lugosi" that "I vant to give you blood!", made her laugh in flustered embarrasment.
She laughed, and shook her head, in denial, when he patted her on the shoulder and told her " It's OK, I know what the problem is! It's probably God dishing out subtle punishment for my being so vulgar!"
She protested, almost apologizing because she'd never even gone thru 3 attempts, and failed before.
She asked him to pump his fist for about 5 minutes, and tried one final time, finally hitting a gusher! ;-D
It cost him $144, out of pocket, for this visit and, when done, another assistant tossed him into a wheel chair, and took him to the bus stop which was closer to the office than the other one so he could head home.
As he was waiting for the 2nd of the 3 busses needed to get home he say a Motorcycle cop waiting in traffic for the light, and so...pointing at his leg, he yelled out "Hey, Officer, wanna trade?" ;-D
The officer took off his helmet to hear better, and Daddy used his one-liner by way of explanation, and he thought the cop would fall off his bike he laughed so hard.
"True story, Officer! My concern for a Black Cat!" ;-D
Sooo...Daddy gets off bus 2, and makes his way thru another crosswalk, reaching the other side only to be met by 2 very concerned young Mormons toting their Book of Mormon. ;-D
They asked if he needed help, and he said he was fine, as all he needed to do was reach the bench at the nearby bus stop.
The 2 eager beavers then offered to carry him, by putting his arms around their shoulders.
Tired, and almost home, Daddy accepted...after all what could go wrong right?
As they put him in postion one of the men asked him how he hurt himself.
""I broke my ankle chasing Pussy!" Daddy says...with a big grin.
They almost dropped him on the spot! ;-D
To watch the very pale, young, faces, of 2 earnest Mormon Missionaries turn the deepest shade of red imaginable, while they had the silliest of grins on those same faces, and had to carry the speaker of such words a few feet was, according to Daddy, fascinating...and hilarious. ;-D
As they sat him down he laughed, and assurred them that he meant Cat, not, um, what they were thinking, and they looked soooo relieved.
But, as is customary with them, as much as with Jehovah's Witnesses, when you give them an inch, they take a mile, they apparently decided that Daddy still needed to be introduced to the religion that could save his sorry, irreverent soul before it was too late. ;-D
It was an interesting discussion, but even Daddy conceding that his one tour of a Mormon Tabernacle before it was closed to non-members was interesting, and that, as a genealogist, he admired their genealogy research website, didn't stop them from being persistent...annoyingly so, and he was glad his bus finally came.
Exhausted, he finally arrived home where Nikita, & I, proceeded to administer comforting Purrs.
Opinionated Pussycat Nurses Give Preliminary Surgical Report
It sounds as though your Daddy had quite a time getting to and from the doctors - thank goodness he had companions with a good sense of humour.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
Posted by: Hannah and Lucy | May 27, 2011 at 06:44 AM
Very amusing story.
At the moment, I am more likely to break my ankle falling over pussy, as she is a youngster and keeps trying to run in front of me all the time.
Posted by: Jewel | May 27, 2011 at 12:52 PM